![]() If someone has a dreadfully bare profile, you're feeling particularly nervous, or you're just drawing up a blank on the right conversation starter, relax. A Therapist's Ultimate 'Rules' For Dating.And both experts agree that being interested in someone's hobbies is a great way to do that (especially if you're lucky enough to have a few in common). “People want someone who signals investment to them,” Carbino says. Most people will post photos of themselves doing something they love or write about their interests in the main bio. This is a pretty simple one, but it's the Tinder conversation gold. "Saw you just went to a Yankees game on IG! Do you have a favorite player?"ĥ.And no, it's not creepy to do! "People spend a lot of time thinking, What do I say about myself? and they're putting it out there publicly," Carbino says. Carbino recommends checking out a match's embedded Spotify playlist or latest Instagram post. Many people forget that the app has its own features that make it easier for people to connect. Take advantage of in-app features for a good conversation starter. What was your favorite part of the city?"Ĥ. "Ever been to the Grand Canyon? It's on my bucket list!"."What's your hands-down favorite restaurant here?".Other location-based conversation starters include: "The safest question to ask is, 'Where are you from originally?' because everyone is from somewhere,” Carbino says. (As in, actually interested, not just trying to fill a void of having someone to text.) This means learning more about where they're from and what makes them.well, them. “When engaging with someone for the first time, it’s important to signal you're interested in them," Carbino says. “You’re also binge-watching ? We need to debrief last night’s episode.”.Keep it light and friendly, and use it as an opportunity to start forming a connection: “No one wants to approach a person with cynicism or a smug attitude.” “There are a lot of people on dating apps who in the convo or in their bio have something negative to say,” Hoggard Wagley says. Save that for a boozy Saturday brunch with your pals, or your next therapy session. “What bar is that in your first pic? It looks so fun.”Īnd, hey, I love to vent as much as the next person, but your dating app is not the place for it.“I’m also obsessed with Omakase! What’s your fave spot in town?”.“OMG, I need to hear about your trip to…”.Instead, give them an easy reason to respond by saying something like: “Hey, what’s up?” is not the most enticing prompt. “If you see a vacation photo or a picture with friends, ask about the best part of that trip or ask them to describe their group of friends,” she says, adding that you should “never ask questions that can be answered in less than one sentence.” Hoggard Wagley suggests asking open-ended questions about a photo or listed interest on their profile-something that will get the conversation flowing and build that bud of a connection before the first date. Remember the longer conversation happens on dates-this is your chance to say hello and establish interest.” “Be concise and intentional,” Hoggard Wagley recommends. Keep your Tinder opening message short, sweet, and to the point. Get your typing fingers ready because here are the best ways to start (and continue) a convo on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Farmers Only, you name it. Needless to say, your first message matters. Cat Hoggard Wagley, LMHCA, is a relationship therapist based in Indiana. Meet the Experts: Jess Carbino, PhD, is a sociologist who has worked for Tinder and Bumble. “Maybe they’ve been burned or ghosted, but whatever their reason, you do have a limited amount of time to catch their interest.” ![]() “Realistically, people are most judgmental about first impressions,” says Cat Hoggard Wagley, LMHCA, a relationship therapist based in Indiana. That's because humans have a natural desire to "thin slice"-as in, digest small amounts of information (like, what's in your bio) to determine bigger decisions (read: whether this person is worth a date.or more). Of course, first impressions are critical in any context, but especially when there's a potential relationship on the line, says Jess Carbino, PhD, a former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble. Unanswered messages-whether it's a text convo with your crush, a group chat that none of your friends responds to, or a hopeful conversation starter on Tinder-are just one more way living in this digital age can make you feel crappy.īut unlike those first two examples, when it comes to dating app conversation starters, there's some artistry involved in crafting the optimal opener. Who here likes to be left on read? Anyone? Nope, didn't think so.
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